[personal profile] clandestine_terrors
Title: It Ends Tonight
Author: [livejournal.com profile] sphinxofthenile 
Fandom: Ai no Kusabi
Pairing: Iason/Riki
Rating: PG-13
Warning: angst, character death, mutilation
Summary: Everything ends here, at Dana Bahn.
A/N: Inspired by the song "It ends tonight" by The All-American Rejects.

---
 
I walk through the corridors I have passed only minutes ago. Walk? More like crawl and stumble, the pain in my body still too strong to be neglected. But right now that isn’t important. The only thing that matters is that Iason is alone, alone inside, and I can’t bear that. 
 
The sight of him sitting there, his face devoid of all expression as his stumps of legs are bleeding into the dust has burnt into my mind, and I’m close to tears, but I can’t cry. He can’t see me cry. He can’t see how much it hurts to lose him. To lose him this way. He is in pain, and I can’t cause him more, so I grit my teeth and crawl further into the building.
 
My shoulders are shaking, my legs fail me time after time, but finally I reach him. He opens his icicle blue eyes, his glance distant, emotionless. Looking at him is like a stab to my heart. So calm, so ethereal…so beautiful
 
And contrasting all this divine beauty, there are those horrible wounds… His legs are cut off just above the knee, the white uniform is stained with blood. I turn my head away, but can’t chase away the memories that haunt my mind.
 
Iason on the sheets, naked, his skin almost as fair as the fabric, his long blonde hair only highlighting his beauty, not hiding it… The sinister look in his eyes, predator to the very end…

"Riki… Why?” He asks stunned. His voice barely a whisper.

"Bet you're bored on your own. Thought you might want someone to talk to.” I try to sound casual, but something inside my throat is suffocating me…

I take out the cigarettes and for a moment I recall Katze’s face and I nearly smile.
 
Oh, Katze, good old friend…

"It's Black Moon. I have it 'cause of the business, just in case. You'll soon be relieved if you smoke it.” 

I have so much to thank you… Katze…

For a brief moment my thoughts jump to Raoul, and I almost feel… sorry for him. Katze and Raoul. A friend and an enemy. They are the only ones sharing my pain, and yet, they have no place in this. Not here. Not now.
 
I even feel a sort of inappropriate pride for it’s me sitting by Iason’s side with my head on his shoulders, but it’s only a dull feeling somewhere deep down in my soul, supressed by the choking hurt…
 
Iason accepts the smoke and I light one for him, then I press my unlit cigarette to his, inhaling deeply. 
 
So, this is our last deep kiss, I think, but surprisingly I find the thought almost comforting. I lay my head on his shoulder and we smoke the poisonous tobacco quietly. 
 
Words are stuck in my throat, my heart is heavy, bleeding together with Iason’s legs. I feel the desire, the urge to say, to confess, to cry out before it’s too late: Don’t leave me. I need you. I love you. 

But it’s not needed anymore. I came back to him, I embrace him, and he knows. It’s in his blue eyes, he looks at me as he never did before, and there are no words to describe the depths of his eyes. The emotion shines through his restrained face, from under his skin like light, and I’m at a loss of words.
 
Why is it only now I realise it? Why is it only now he…? That I…Why, Iason? Why you?

But I don’t have to say anything. I half-recline in the thought that he knows, and that I know that he loves me too. For it’s also in his expression. There is not the slightest change in those ever-still features, but somehow, though it not shows, it’s still there.
 
The greatest treasure I ever had in this cruel world is in my arms, slowly fading away…
 
In my soul a desperate, tiny voice cries. 
 
Iason, Iason, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry. I should’ve said it, said it the day I’ve first met you and every goddamn day after that… I should’ve said it, I should’ve said so many things to you while I still had the time…

My embrace tightens around him, communicating my feelings to him, and he returns it reassuringly with a slight smile. And in this gentle smile of his there is a whisper, a silky whisper like music, like light, something only I can sense.
 
"I know, pet. I know. Riki. My pet... my love.” 
 
I feel my eyelids grow heavy, my mouth dry, but I feel protected and oddly enough, secure. Is it the effect of the poison already? No, it’s too early for that. It’s Iason’s strength, his gentle embrace and unsaid words.
 
A single tear makes its way down my cheek and lands on the strict Blondie uniform, but my mouth is still sealed with emotions. At least I no longer fear. 
 
I could’ve died in a thousand other ways, in the slums, or in one of the brothels pets are usually thrown into, but dieing in Iason’s arms, like this… I couldn’t have chosen any better death than this. It’s comforting, relieving, almost…merciful.
 
Finally, for some precious moments we are free, free from the society that imprisoned us in these horrible roles of Master and pet… 
 
There are no Masters here, just the two of us together as never before, and I close my eyes to savour the moment before it’s gone forever.
 
I feel Iason’s heartbeat and it’s like a lullaby for my poison-infected senses. I breathe in his scent and I grab at his platina locks to have them coiled up around my fingers. The bitter smoke fades the world away, and I hold on to Iason as a drowning man would to a piece of wood.
 
I’m only half-conscious now, but I force my eyes open to look at him one last time. His eyes are closed, his beautiful face is so peaceful, so radiant…

With a last, barely audible sigh I lay my head on his still chest and let my eyelids fall shut.

So everything ends here tonight, here, at Dana Bahn.
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